She knew exactly what he meant...why was everything so complicated...why couldn't they just switch off this attraction and need they felt towards each other...why couldn't they just let go of whatever existed between them and pretend like it was never there...that their hearts did not beat erratically when the other was in proximity...that the thought of seeing each other did not make them restless and feel more alive...that life was not a better place with the other in it...why? Why couldn't they stop falling for each other? More and more...deeper and deeper...every single day!
She felt tears prick her eyes as she walked slowly but purposefully towards him...her body trembled while his stiffened at her approach...she stood at a feet's distance from him before placing her warm palms on his face bringing it closer to hers as she touched her forehead to his...she felt rather than heard the sharp breath that he took at the contact...as both closed their eyes with arnav's arm's going familiarly around her tiny waist, khushi whispered "I wish I knew what to do Arnav...I wish I knew"
Arnav sighed as he felt his body react to her closeness...the calm and peace he felt with her was much more potent than anything he had ever felt before...it was as if she made him forget everything around him...he was not Arnav Raizada with her...he was not Crispin pike with her...he was just Arnav...not a man who always felt left out, who always felt ignored and insecure...who always felt like he wanted to hide away from the world...something which he was an expert now...but with her, he felt he was whole...just Arnav
They did not know who succumbed first as their lips met in a gentle kiss...completely opposite of how they came together before...there was a serenity in the kiss...a kind of sear that went straight to their hearts, caressing the beating organ with its calm intensity...Khushi held in her breath as she closed the rest of the distance between their bodies by pressing herself against him..her softness moulding perfectly with his hardness
She moaned as he swiped his tongue longingly over the seam of her moist lips as he urged her to open up for him...and she knew it was futile not to give in to their twin desires, making him groan deep in his throat as he finally found the sweetness he craved...their tongues danced together in a beat of their own as their hands travelled feverishly over each other...the sweetness of the kiss, now turning into a fierce passionate mating
Khushi hung onto his neck as her fingers grasped the slightly grown hair at his nape...she felt Arnav's lips leave her swollen ones to traverse over her jaw and then her delicate neck...she gripped him hard as he nipped her there while pulling her t-shirt down, giving him an unrestricted view of a perfectly rounded shoulder only marred by a satiny bra strap...khushi ran her hands down his back to slip her hands inside his jumper to feel the rippling muscles beneath, making her want more and more of the gorgeous man in her arms
Sensing her urgency, he pulled his jumper off as her darkened eyes took in his delicious male perfection...he did not give her time to think as he took her lips again in a turbulent kiss while pulling her t-shit off her, leaving her standing only in her bra and shorts...his hands went to her curved bottom to grasp it possessively as she rubbed one leg over his making him want to take her then and there...they had no semblance of anything around them as they found themselves walk further into the room and tumble headlong onto the soft bed
Khushi reveled in the feel of Arnav lying over her as her body went up in flames...she gasped as his hands caressed her taut tummy and smooth legs, moaning in abandon as he rubbed his hardened self over her, making her insides pool with a liquid heat...she placed her lips on his chest while his hands went to her back to take off the little bit of fabric keeping her shielded from his heated gaze, but she stilled in his arms when the carelessly latched window of her room surged open to let in a cold blast of air, making her aware of how far they had come...and along with the realization came a sense of morality which she had all but abandoned in this dizzying haze of passion...
She looked up quickly to find the swirling desire in Arnav's eyes replaced by concern as he gazed at Khushi's worried face...he understood her unspoken words as he kissed her softly of her forehead before pulling away from her and handing over her t-shirt that lay on wooden floor near her bed...he faced away and sat on the edge of the bed as she quickly got up and wore it; her hands trembling as the remnant of their passionate encounter left her shivering.
She saw him turn his head slightly towards her as he tried to get his breathing under control "Khushi...I...I'm..." he started saying as khushi scooted near him and wound her arms around his bare one "It's ok Arnav...we got carried away...I...I know we should have stopped..." she said as he chuckled "But we didn't..." he said as she smiled shyly
"Yes...we didn't...I don't think either of us can help it..." she said as Arnav shook his head "Nope...you have much more control then me..." he said as khushi blushed "I wouldn't know...this is all very new for me..." she said as Arnav looked properly at her crimson face... "Have you never..?" he asked her as she shook her head "Its not like I haven't dated and all...but I have never gone this far Arnav...that's why all this scares me so much...I don't understand my reactions around you" she said as Arnav felt a kind of elation at her confession of being this intimate with him only
"I don't either Khushi...but I know this much that for the first time I don't want to analyze and think about anything...I know how unlikely things are between us, knowing our difference in opinions and how we see life in general...but..." he said as Khushi laid a finger over his lips "Don't say another word...lets just not think about all this Arnav...please...I don't think I can...not right now..." she said as he nodded and kissed her once again on her forehead
"Ok...lets leave it for now...you get some sleep all right?...good night" he said as she smiled softly at him...he got up and gathered his jumper before looking at her with a slight smile as he walked out, closing her door softly behind him...Khushi slipped back into her bed and rested her head against the headboard...what was it between them, that logic and common sense just did not seem to bind their resolves...they would have probably gone all the way today if her dazed mind had not stopped her from taking things ahead
She sighed as she switched off the bed-side lamp and curled back into the sheets...closing her eyes she replayed their passionate kiss in her mind as her body hummed in unfulfilled desire...she blushed as she thought of being with him in the most intimate way...something she had never seen herself in with anyone else...she never knew when sleep claimed her as she drifted into a sweet dream filled with guava trees, coffee and her own preferred brand of Mr Raizada.
On the other hand Arnav could not help but stay awake...he still could not get over the strong feelings he had for khushi...should he just let go this time? Should he just take that plunge finally? Let someone into his lonely life...someone he could share all his joys and pains with...someone who will revel in his achievements and lend a shoulder in his grief? Someone who would bring him a cup of coffee and wake him up in their warm bed every morning?
The thought was so exhilarating that he could not help but feel excited and happy about it...he was the one who had told khushi not to hope for anything from him when now, he himself wanted to hope...for her, for them...it was too soon to think what these feelings are and where they would lead him...but this much was clear that he wanted her in his life...he could not think of going back to an empty house and dual characters anymore.
He looked at his desk that held his trusted laptop and notebook...how would she react when she come to know that he was the same author she read so attentively? He wanted to share so many things with her...stuff that he had kept suppressed inside him...things that he had never shared or spoken to anyone...he quickly got up from his bed and walked to the desk...there was no way he could sleep with such thoughts running through his head...so it was best for him to get some work done instead
But how can one work when the person they want t be with is sleeping, but a few paces away in another room...shutting the laptop down after listlessly staring at its screen for a few minutes, Arnav went back to his bed to get some sleep...he would have to talk to Khushi tomorrow...he had to know what she wanted as well...how would this work?
"Arnav?"...he heard his name being spoken in her sweet voice...calling out to him from his deep slumber... "Arnav..." she said again as his lips curled up in slight smile...he could feel the cool morning breeze drifting in from his verandah...'wait'?...who opened his verandah door?...his eyes snapped open as they came to focus on the one face he had seen over and over in his dreams last night... "Khushi?" he asked her as she giggled and got up from his bed "yes! Its 10 in the morning Arnav...VK and Smitha have gone for a wedding...you didn't wake up on your usual time, so I thought I should wake you up" she said as Arnav stretched his back and sat up..his eyes lazily wandering over her slim form, clad in a yellow sundress
"Good morning" he said finally as Khushi blushed under his heated gaze...she was acting like a fool in front of him, blushing and stammering like she never had...what was it about him that made her feel so disoriented? "Good morning" she said as he smiled and gestured to the coffee she was holding "Is that for me?" he asked her as she looked down at her hands "Yes...I got it for you" she said as she bent down and kept the cup on the table beside his bed "The breakfast is ready...why don't you freshen up?" she said as she straightened up to leave when Arnav caught her wrist loosely in his
"Why did you come Khushi? Was it just to wake me up?" he asked as his heart did a little flip...remembering what he had wished for last night...someone to get him coffee in the morning...he saw her cheeks color up as she looked away "Uh...yeah, why else...I mean...like I said...its pretty late and you have work to do..." she trailed as Arnav pulled her hand making her land on his lap...her hands went instinctively to his shoulders as he leaned forward and buried his head in her fragrant, freshly washed hair...he smiled as he felt a shiver run up her body making her shift restlessly in his hold
"Do you know what I wished for last night Khushi?" he asked her as she shook her head mutely...she could not for the life of her make herself get up from where she comfortably sat right now... "I wished I could have someone to wake me up everyday with coffee..." he said as his lips left a feathery kiss on her nape, making her take in an unsteady breath "I want you to think this carefully Khushi...You did not want to talk about this yesterday...but we need to...soon" he said as he pressed another kiss on her cheek before loosening his arms from around her
She quickly stood up from his lap as he smirked at her slightly shocked expression...she knew that Arnav wanted to talk about them, he made it pretty clear last night...but what he just said...about being with each other everyday? What was he saying?... "I'll see you at breakfast sunshine" he said with a smile as Khushi stared mesmerized at his face, so boyish and relaxed...like she had never seen before...he looked so handsome...so serene
"Seriously Khushi? Do I have something on my nose? Or am I just so handsome that you can't take your eyes off me?" he teased her as she felt her cheeks heating up again at her blatant staring... " I was just..." she said as he raised his eyebrows...his smile still intact...damn it, she'll lose it if she stays here for another second "See you outside..." she said before quickly making her way out of his room...she could hear his laughter as she closed his door and walked towards the dining area...her own face beaming in happiness...today she really did feel like her name.